It's been a weird December.  I managed to finally haul a little tree home from the local Home Depot Store and decorate it (along with my daughter and grandson) last week.  Finally.  However, besides that one standing bit of "bling", I've had little motivation to deck the halls with jolly or holly.  The cheer seems to be missing, along with the snow and gifts that have yet to be tied up with bows.

For those who have suffered the loss of a loved one, or might be going through illness, battling disease or life circumstances, I seem to somehow understand - just a little - about battles.  Oh, I can't relate fully to anyone else's difficulties or demons, but I can say there has been a large portion of challenge in my life for quite some time.  It's really not the point of this post.

What IS important is that my own circumstances help me to sympathize with another's struggles.  When we suffer, we begin to understand suffering.  When we hurt, we begin to know what pain means and how it feels to bear a measure of it.  Thankfully, Jesus empathized with me before He even brought me into this world.  He knew my name.  He knew about my journey - including its joy and sorrow.  He also had a plan to allow me the benefits of losing in order to win.  He gave me freedom to fail so that I would learn about triumph.  He stood back while I made poor choices so that I could conquer temptations and not keep going there.  He gave me grace when I deserved none.  Love when I deserved condemnation.  Mercy when I deserved death.  He has given me hope when I often choose defeat and destruction.

So...I suppose my pause this season has not been so much about looking into the mirrors of my heartaches, but rather about being positioned to recognize how much I have been given - and forgiven...wanting more of Him to become more a part of me.  Maybe it's about seeing what is important...maybe it's about seeking the real Miracle....???